Wedding vows you need to make to yourself before taking the plunge
First of all, a word of congratulations
If you are reading this, you are most likely soon be going to take the plunge into one of the most hallowed experiences of your life. Where two completely different lives will come together and become a single entity, thus combining two completely different backgrounds, beliefs and practices into a single lifestyle from which shall be born, among many other things, a new home. A wonderful thing indeed as it is something which will start out of the most important thing in life. Love. So, hearty congratulations are in place here for deciding to sanctify your love at society’s gate.
But are you ready for it?
No, I do not mean, is the guest list ready, is your shopping list ready, are your parlour appointments in place. I mean, are you ready from the inside to give this day the honour it deserves? Which is why, among all other ceremonies that take place in a typical wedding, the marriage vows play a very important part. Because, no matter what community or religion, no matter the language of the vows, the goal of taking those vows together mean the same thing the world over. It means that you promise to work together towards making the best out of your future lives together by promising each other certain things. This is what a marriage hangs on. A relationship based on trust and mutual respect.
But are YOU ready for it?
Yes. There are vows you can make to each other on that day. But do you agree that you first need to make some promises only to yourself, and believe in them, before making promises to another? Because, unless you are convinced yourself that you have faith in yourself in making the future work, how can another have the same faith in you? It is what you owe not only to yourself but to your partner and your future life together. Here are a few things that I think you should promise yourself before taking the final wedding vows.
I promise to know my inner self first
Unless you have a deep understanding of the person you yourself are, the other person never will. And you can never give your all to something unless you know what that all consists of. So take some time off, delve within, be honest to yourself, and understand what makes you “YOU”. Once you do that, will you be able to decide whether you can make the next promises to yourself? Because knowing yourself will tell you whether you will be able to keep them. A corollary to this promise is also about promising to love yourself for what you are. For, if you do not love yourself first, how can you love another?
I promise henceforth to be entirely honest to myself
If you are not in the habit of being honest to yourself, your marriage will be based on things you do not believe in but thought would be the right thing to agree with to make the best of the moment. Being so might make a particular day more endearing. But, god forbid, it will not help the marriage last. Once your partner understands that he or she can only expect honesty from you, he or she will respect you more for whatever you say or do, and trust, a major pillar in a marriage, will automatically follow. Insecurity is one of the main reasons marriages fall apart. You can get rid of that from your end at least by making this promise to yourself, and then keeping it.
I promise henceforth to trust my intuitions
Once you have a thorough understanding of yourself and have agreed to be honest at least to yourself, then making this promise will not be difficult. And going by your intuitions when you step into a completely new world of married life will be a great way to go till you have learnt the ropes. This is because, as human beings, inside each one of us is a divine being, who knows good from bad. Learn to tune in to that voice. A good way to start doing that is to put preconceived notions and accepted ideas on how to be out of your mind, and just be. Another tip, do not think of consequences before they have happened. That will obstruct your attempts at going by your intuitions.
I promise henceforth to never settle for less
Once you know your true inner self, your desires and wishes will never be meaningless and trivial. So make sure that you get what you feel you deserve. And that does not mean getting aggressive about it. Just accept what you feel is due to you, and reject the rest. Once you start doing that, the other person in your life will respect you even more, and will go all out of his or her way to never shortchange you. Return the favour, and you have a great future ahead together!
I promise henceforth to work towards making a home
A home is to some just an address where one comes back to at the end of each day. While to others it literally is the place the heart is. Promise to yourself that the home you intend to build with your partner will necessarily be the latter. So spend some time thinking about how a home is not a physical place on a map, but a special place in two people’s hearts where they love to meet and be with each other, even if they are a thousand miles apart. How is that possible? Think about it yourself, and then share your thoughts with your partner when he is ready. There. Your home making process just started!
I promise henceforth to take care of my health
From now on your health and well being is not your own. It is as much of a concern to another. His or her own well being will depend on it. You owe your marriage the best you can give it. But you cannot do that until and unless you are physically fit to do so. Ignoring your own health will put the pressure of taking care of it on your partner. That is not a fair deal, is it? Being a martyr never ever helped any one in any situation. Here too it will help neither of you. Address your health needs immediately and cut down on the bad habits that may lead to health problems later on.
I promise henceforth to never compare my marriage with other marriages
Every relationship is unique just as every person going into one is unique. Respect it for the way it is. Change it together if you have to. Work towards making it better for what better means for both of you. Never ever go by what others say worked in their marriage. Because they went into it as two separate people and have a plethora of different ingredients going into the mix that made up their marriage. The same with you. So comparisons can never work. Stay together for what keeps YOU together, and not others.
It is never too late or too early
Start making these promises to yourself right now. So you are ready to take the next set of vows together. Share this with your partner to be if you can, so he or she can benefit from it like you intend to. Here’s wishing you a truly happy married life!